Piperluvzadam's Journals

Because of You

It truly is amazing

how little you really care...

how quickly you can forget me

as if i was never even there;

my body is broken...

my heart is in two...

it bleeds a little more

with each and every beat

it's all because of you;

you brought me in

then tossed me out

you make me crazy

you make me shout

i'd just walk away

but i can't i must stay

i may be broken...

black and blue

but i'm here

right here

All because of you

My Blood Proves my Innocence

I never mean the things i say when they come out wrong....
I never mean to hurt the people I love but I do...
I never mean to lie even tho thats all i kno...
I never meant to fall in love when all I can do is hate...
I can never seem to make anyone happy, all i do is make them cry. They will never admit to such cruelties out loud, but I am the cause of their pain.
But i myself am in pain as well... I suffer here in silence. I die each and every minute. I bleed black, and cry in blue. I find myself lost and hopelessly devoted to the one who has broken me... My life is based on dramatics, this is simply one more...

I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you.-m.s.

I don't know why i'm not good enough-z.s.

I really wish you could see me.-l.m.

I know that i'm making a mistake, so STOP FUCKING TELLING ME!!!!!!-l.s., a.h., b.b., c.c., n.p., a.c., m.s.

I will get better, it will simply take time-b.b., a.c.

I don't mean to annoy, but you do mean to lie so its only fair-z.s.

I never wanted to lie to you, someday you will kno the truth-a.c.

I don't need a mother, I need a best friend-c.c.

I don't need anyone else but you, forever and always-a&p

Please don't take offense to the words that may mean nothing. I only ask for acceptance. I only want to be wanted. I know its wrong for me to want you to be the guy you can't be, but it is still nice to think that you can be him, that you can be better, that you can be who i kno you are... please just stop and ask yourself are you really happy being hated or maybe just maybe, am I right?

All this Chaos in My Head

Have i fallen from grace? Have i becomce lost in an endless dark oblivion? Am I dead to the world? I have lost my way, I have done far worse deeds than anyone could ever imagine. I wish to right the wrongs, make things right. But somehow the only way i see for this to be is to let go of what I just got back... well i'm not letting go! Im holding on, tighter than i ever have before!!!!!!!!!

R.I.P.: Murdered by Love

They tell you that you will get better, that you will grow and heal. What you need to know is: They All Lie!!!! The pain never goes away, the heartache, the sadness it stays, burning a hole through you, killing you.
How can you survive in a place where you are being held prisoner?
How are you supposed to move on?

YOu don't, or at least I never have. I have loved him and only him for centuries it feels like. My heart bleeds everyday because I know I can never have him again... he doesn't want me... I am nothing without him....

I don't know what I am to do.....

To Everything in its Place

Everything's gonna be alright.... is it? Is it really? i'd like to believe so. I've just graduated high school, I have the most amazing friends in the world, a pretty alright job, and a crazy wonderful guy: yeah i'd say that's alright! Life's tough most of the time, but as long as you can keep your head above water, eventually you'll learn to swim...

sorry to be so philisophical, but im pretty optimistic right now, now that's not to say that im gonna get a text within the next hour that will completely destroy my mood, Im hoping not! But yeah life in general is pretty alright. Went to the movies with Oz, Levi, Justin, Cass, and Tea last night. Saw Night @ the Museum... I liked it, they did a good job. Oz kept poking me though so then we had a war... which i won! And then there was a baby in front of us, she was so cute! Oz told me not to talk to her, but i couldn't help it! Hung out with my Zach-la too! Oh, I love him so much. i just wish i could be with him more, but everytime we try that we always end up fighting, so its better to just see each other in small doses even if it does kill me being away from him! Wow... this is my first entry in like a year... and I think my last one was about Lonnie or something... Man that kid... he's crazy but i heart him! Anyway.... i think im done wasting your lovely time, next entry i'll make sure to make really interesting!!!!!

Luvziez

Cemie!

Your Angel

What if you woke up one morning and went to the doctors.

He looked you in the face and said you had one week to live,

What do you do?

Do you spend it with friends and loved ones?

Tell them how much you love them and you hope they have amazing lives even though your about to lose yours forever?

Do you follow your favourite band around on their tour and finally meet them on your last day?

Do you do all the extreme things you never thought you would do otherwise?

Or do you do nothing?

Say nothing...

Tell no one...

Be nothing?

What if you met someone?

Someone insignificant...

Someone you didn't even know existed?

But they know you...

They've always known you...

They've always been there...

Since day one...

What if this person could save you?

What if this person was your angel?

YOU TRY


	to convince urself that ur better, that the pain is gone, but then u look in the mirror, and see all the mistakes that killed you

MY HEART


	HAS BEEN FUCKING RIPPED OUT, THROWN IN A BLENDER, SET TO PUREY, THEN DRANKEN, AND THROW UP BY THE ONE WHO RIPPED IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW HE STANDS THERE AND POINTS AND LAUGHS AT MY FOOLISHNESS! I HATE MYSELF, I'M SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW COULD I FALL SO HARD FOR SOMEONE, I NEVER REALLY KNEW??? I DIE FROM THE INSIDE!!!!

My Love!

This is for Lonny who owns my heart!

I gave my heart to you my Love,

And then it split in two,

I gave my heart to you my Love,

And then my heart turned blue,

You told me you loved me,

You told me you cared,

You told me you loved me,

And then you left me there.

My heart, it bleeds,

Inside & Out,

I try to scream,

I try to shout,

You keep me still and locked away,

In this darkness I will stay,

Hiding,

Dying,

Broken & Sad,

You see my tears,

They make you glad,

I fight to stay in the light,

But you beat me, you defeat me,

I cry,

I die,

The coo of a dove,

Do you really care?

Because you have killed me,

My Love!

hate so deep...

to hate
to love
to live
to die

i crawl in a corner
i let myself cry

i lie awake and think of u
i think of how my heart's in 2

you loved me
you hated me
you told me to die

so now i'm in a corner
letting my self cry